Fic: There's (Probably) a Tegan & Sara Song About All This (GA, Callie/Erica, PG-13)

[scurvyknavery]

Originally posted 19 July, 2008.

Title: There's (Probably) a Tegan & Sara Song About All This
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Spoilers Through 4.16/4.17, Freedom
Challenge: Written as a pinch-hit for femslash08, for zvi_likes_tv
Word Count: 1,725
Pairing: Callie/Erica
Rating: PG-13
Summary: somehow, in the haze of hot straight sex with Mark and thinking about hot gay sex with Erica and the awesome, not-at-all-sexy surgery, Callie forgot that Seattle Grace happens to be the gossipiest, most immature hospital in the entire history of medicine.
Notes: Thanks to sinandmisery for short-notice beta help.

Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me.


Weirdly, Callie thought the first part of all this would be the most difficult.

You know.

The throw-her-purse-to-the-ground, declare-her-totally-gay-feelings, leap-off-the-metaphorical-cliff-and-kiss-her part. The part that romantic comedies always end on, as the music swells and the big CGI heart closes over their faces as the curtain falls, that - that's supposed to be the big obstacle to overcome. After the epiphany and the leap of faith, everything is supposed to be easy. Fade to black, and all that.

Callie's starting to think that maybe there's a reason that romantic comedies don't show the stuff that comes after.

Not that it's - you know, there are some good parts. There are definitely, definitely some good parts. Like, for instance, the inner calm that comes from working out that the reason she had strange feelings around Erica was because she absolutely wanted Erica's tongue slipping into her mouth, all wet heat and teasing tongue. And all the things that happen because of that, like Erica's tongue in - well, in places that are not her mouth. (And seriously, she's a doctor, how sad is she that she can't even think the word 'pussy' without getting embarrassed?) Those parts are all pretty awesome.

Finding out that Erica's a really good cook, Callie likes that. (And finding out that even though Erica's a good cook, Callie can make her burn breakfast black just by coming up behind her and kissing the back of her neck, over and over again. That's not so bad, either.)

But.

There are a whole bunch of not so fun things that Callie definitely didn't consider, that they don't really talk about in the movies. Things that Callie kind of wishes she'd thought of, because if she'd known how much of a pain in the ass it was going to be, declaring her hot gay love for her hot gay best friend and having a hot gay makeout session in front of the hospital, she might have done things a little differently.

For instance, the gossip. Oh god, the gossip.

Somehow, in the haze of hot straight sex with Mark and thinking about hot gay sex with Erica and the awesome, not-at-all-sexy surgery, Callie forgot that Seattle Grace happens to be the gossipiest, most immature hospital in the entire history of medicine.

This was her first mistake.

And, you know, to give credit where credit is due, everyone is pretty subtle about it. There's no obvious pointing and giggling, no tacky rug-munching jokes or crude questions. There's just surprised looks and no eye contact from anybody and a lot of awkward, of-course-we-haven't-been-talking-about-you pauses whenever Callie walks into a room. Which, in a way, is worse, because it's not like Callie doesn't get what's going on - everyone, from the Chief to the candystripers, knows what Callie and Erica were doing last night. (Or at least, they have the right idea. She's pretty sure, from the look one of the scrub nurses gave her when she was discussing prosthetic limb function with a patient, that there have been some embellishments.)

The sympathetic looks are the hardest part.

Because the sympathetic looks are from people like Izzie Stevens, and George, and Meredith Grey. God, Callie can't handle sympathy from Meredith. Not because she has some kind of secret grudge or anything, just because - well, because she's Meredith Grey, the girl who singlehandedly kept the Seattle Grace rumor mill going through most of her intern year. If Meredith is sympathetic, Callie knows that the entire hospital is talking about her sex life, and possibly wondering if she and George broke up because Callie was a secret lesbian, which isn't even true, and basically Callie just wants the floor to swallow her up so she can not deal with this.

Then again - Meredith is sympathetic.

Which is why Callie sits down next to her (okay, corners her, but it's totally valid. She's got problems), in the cafeteria. "Hey."

Meredith makes a face for a half-second, that "oh god, what does she want with me" face that Callie knows so well from high school, then bounces back into a smile. "Hey. What's up?"

"Come on. I think you know what's up."

Meredith's smile turns a little more brittle, like she doesn't want to get caught in a lie. "Really? I do?"

And Callie just - she can handle the games from the nurses. And the orderlies. And the patients, who are listening to the orderlies and the nurses talk. And her idiot residents, who are snickering insubordinately whenever they think she's not looking - anyway, she can handle a lot. But she can't handle Meredith Grey pretending she's not relieved that the hospital is gossiping about someone else for a change. "Meredith. Let's not act like we're in high school. I know you know, because everyone in the entire hospital seems to know about how Erica and I made out in the parking lot before we hooked up last night, and it was totally hot and the sex was fantastic, and, wow, I'm really oversharing here, but the point is - don't play dumb. You know."

"Alright, so I know. So what?"

"So, I know that everyone knows. But what I don't know is what they think they know. You do. I need to know what you know."

Meredith just looks at her, and Callie can't read her expression at all. Between that and the fact that she just used the word 'know' so much she feels like she's in an episode of Friends, Callie feels like sort of an ass, but, well. It's her scandal-making gay affair. She has the right to all the facts. So she takes a deep breath, and tries again. "Come on. We're. . .sort of friends, right?" Callie tries for a charming smile. It sort of works. "What are they saying about us?"

This is her second mistake.




Erica finds her hours later in the third floor supply closet, wedged between the shelf with spare bedding and the shelf full of bedpans.

It is not Callie's most dignified moment. But at least she's not crying.

Still, sulking in the closet like she's an intern isn't exactly a step up, and she knows she's being ridiculous and a girl and vaguely hysterical over something that shouldn't even be a big deal, but. Somehow, Callie thought that when she figured out that she wanted to - that she wanted Erica, and kissed her and had slow, gentle sex with her that made Callie's brain melt a little - she thought that could just be hers.

(For a while, anyway. She knows herself and she knows Erica and she knows Mark, and it wouldn't have stayed a secret for very long, she understands that, but. It just doesn't seem fair that she makes a big, scary decision about how she likes Erica and that gets to be everyone else's business.)

Erica frowns a little, and leans in. "Hey," she says. Her hair is falling across her face, and it's totally, ridiculously hot, and damn her. Damn her for being hot when Callie's trying to sulk. "What are you doing in here?"

"Oh," Callie says, trying not to sound like the hysterical teenager she's been all day. "Just hanging out. Apparently we had sex in here, so I thought I'd visit. See what it was like."

Erica is very, very quiet for a long moment, and Callie wants to ask her what she's thinking about. (She also wants to reach up and kiss Erica's temple and see what she does, because now that Callie's let herself, she can't stop thinking about how much she wants Erica, all the time.) But Callie doesn't ask. She doesn't do anything at all - she just waits, and watches Erica.

She waits when Erica moves to kneel in front of her, scoots forward so that she's between Callie's spread legs. (Which, by the way, is not helping with Callie's dirty thoughts.) "I see," Erica finally says, and her voice is too calm for Callie not to be freaked out, but her hands are resting on Callie's thighs like everything's okay. "We had sex in here?"

"Sure did," Callie says, and she can't quite keep the bitter notes out of her voice. "And on the fifth floor. And on the second floor. And the on-call room down the hall. Oh, and OR 2, right on the operating table with a half-dozen nurses watching. That's one of my favourites."

"We sound pretty athletic," Erica says, smiling like she's doing it despite herself.

"Yeah, well." Callie looks down, focuses her gaze on Erica's hands on her. "Good for us, I guess."

Erica takes a deep breath, and tries again. "You know what? Screw everyone else."

"Well, I think the problem is, we already did that -"

And then Erica's kissing her. Really kissing her, like she did last night, lips hard against her and tongue searching and just a hint of teeth, kissing her until Callie can't help but whimper, a little, and tangle one hand in Erica's pretty, pretty hair. Erica's hands find the hem of Callie's top, pushing it up until she can touch skin. She traces patterns on Callie's back, and Callie starts making totally embarrassing, totally gay sex noises that anyone can probably hear, but Callie doesn't care at all when Erica's kissing her like that, and - oh god.

Callie doesn't care.

She doesn't care, because Erica's nipping at her lower lip and Erica's hair is silky between her fingers, and she can't believe she forgot about how much she likes this part. She can't believe she forgot about how this part is the important stuff, even if half the hospital does think they did it with a strap-on over the Chief's desk.

Erica pulls back and Callie lets her, grinning like a lovestruck idiot and not even trying to hide it. "Hey."

"Hey."

"You're kind of an idiot," Erica says, but there's a smile in her voice and her hands are brushing the bare skin underneath Callie's top, higher and higher.

"But you totally like me anyway?" Callie says, halfway between joking and hopeful.

Erica kisses her, slow and gentle, and laughs against Callie's mouth.

And suddenly, everything is easy again.