scurvyknavery: made by <lj site="" user="pirateygoodness"> (
[personal profile] scurvyknavery
Title: Stay Where You Are, Just For Now
Fandom: Lost Girl
Pairing: Bo/Lauren
Rating: PG
Word Count: 2,002
Summary: Bo stays silent, as Lauren finishes cleaning the cuts on her face. Spoilers for episode 2.10
Notes: Thank you to [personal profile] noblealice for beta-reading.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction - all events and actions are completely made up. Absolutely nothing in this story should be taken as fact. I am not, nor do I claim to be, the owner of the rights to any of the characters in this work. This original work of fan fiction is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License; attribution should include a link to this Livejournal post.

Bo stays silent, as Lauren finishes cleaning the cuts on her face.

She wants to talk about a dozen different things - about Nadia, about Lauren's feelings for Bo, the Ash and being Fae and this stupid case and the way it felt to kill people without knowing how not to. But she can't decide where to start, or if she even wants to, so she doesn't say anything at all.

She knows that Lauren is watching her with that soft look in her eyes, the one that usually makes Bo feel hopeful and liked. She feels a little guilty, not responding, but she just - she doesn't want to be hopeful, or feel good about herself, not tonight.

So Bo looks away, focusing on the pattern of Dyson's sheets, and waits as Lauren works.

"Let me see your hands," Lauren says. Her voice is gentle, but there's no mistaking the commanding, Doctor Lewis authority behind it.

Bo submits, extending both hands limply, palms down. Lauren takes the right in both of her hands, then the left. She examines Bo's knuckes, pressing against all the bones and moving each joint of each finger. It doesn't hurt. She wrapped them well, and besides - it's not like she used them much, anyway.

"You know, I'm pretty sure you're supposed to hit back," Lauren says, calmly.

Bo is too embarrassed to look up. "That might have helped," she says to Dyson's mattress.

"Anyway," Lauren says, like she's about to start a sentence that will change the subject. She doesn't finish, instead covering the silence with a nervous cough, and moving to the dried blood pooled in the groove below Bo's nose. The pain is sudden, as sharp as being hit again. Bo hisses. "Sorry," Lauren says, absently. She keeps working.

Bo clenches her teeth against the pain for a moment, but she can't hold it for long. She's been having trouble breathing through her nose ever since the fight, but now it's starting to throb. It sort of feels like it's broken.

Bo glances up for as long as she can stand. Lauren's biting the inside of her cheek, clearly focusing on something to do with Bo's nose. "What?" Bo asks. Her voice is sharper than it needs to be, but her nose hurts, and she's never been good at being a hero about stuff like this.

"It's probably broken," she says, confirming Bo's suspicion. "Unfortunately, there's not a lot I can do besides give you medication for the pain."

She thinks about the possibility of her nose healing all funny and she's tempted, momentarily, to call Dyson back and heal from him. The thought sends a fresh wave of self-loathing over her, and she shakes her head. That's painful, too. "It's fine."

"I have to examine it a bit more closely, first," Lauren says, sighing. "It'll hurt."

She offers her hand, palm up on Bo's knee. Bo squeezes it, hard, as Lauren does something to Bo's nose that makes her eyes water. She doesn't let go until Lauren's done. When she does, Lauren's skin is blanched from the pressure, in the shape of four of Bo's fingers.

Lauren stands, crossing the room to her bag of supplies, and Bo doesn't miss the way that she flexes her hand, stiffly, the whole way over. She comes back with gauze, and sticky strips that she uses to close the edges of the cuts at Bo's cheek and brow. Bo knows she's trying to be gentle, but it still hurts, a lot.

"I think that's it," Lauren says. She sounds almost sad, like she wishes she could do more. "Unless you're injured anywhere else?"

Bo shakes her head. "I'm fine," she mumbles.

It's not the whole truth. There's a spot on her ribcage that hurts a little more than it should, and she knows there's a huge bruise blooming on the side of her thigh. But every time she thinks about her own pain, she can't stop herself from wondering if Kyle felt any, when she killed him. Unbidden, his body flashes in front of her vision, like it has been all day. Suddenly she's back there, registering the look on his face and the weight of his - dead - body and that awful prickling horror, at realizing she'd done something to make him that way.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Lauren says. She's watching Bo with that Doctor Lewis look, like she's pretty sure Bo's not.

Bo shakes her head again, changes the subject. "How much longer do you have before you have to go back?"

"Thirty -" Lauren looks at her watch. "Thirty-five minutes." She rolls her eyes at herself, like something about that was embarrassing. "But I can go, if you want to be -"

"No," Bo says, quickly, reaching out for Lauren's wrist. "No, stay."

She's still so angry, so disgusted with herself and her nature and everything she's done that she can hardly stand being in her own skin. She doesn't know what she wants to do - if she wants to run, or lash out, or something worse. But she knows that she doesn't want to be alone, not really.

She must look distracted, lost in her own - whatever, inner angst - because the next thing she notices is Lauren, watching her with even more concern. She frowns, and reaches out to brush her knuckles against Bo's jaw. The touch is soft and warm and gentle, everything that Bo doesn't deserve right now, but she leans into it all the same.

"Hey," Lauren mumbles, caressing Bo's neck, thumbing her collarbone. "What is it?"

Bo doesn't know where to start.

"It's nothing," she says, and she wants it to come out calmly but she ends up snapping, huffing at Lauren like a teenager. She wishes that Lauren wasn't seeing her like this; she wants Lauren to make her feel better.

Bo sighs, frustrated with herself. Lauren's hand is heavy against her back, now, and before Bo really thinks about what she's doing, she leans forward and rests her forehead against Lauren's shoulder. It's uncomfortable. She can't find a position that doesn't press awkwardly against her injuries. But as she fidgets, Lauren brings her other arm up to hold her, pressing her close. It makes her face hurt even worse than before, but the guilt she's been dwelling on all evening starts to ease a little bit.

Bo doesn't think she's crying, but something is tickling the bandage on her cheek and she swipes at it with her palm. Her hand comes away wet with tears, and a little blood.

Absurdly, the only thing she can think to say is, "I'm going to mess up your shirt."

Lauren hand rubs in broad, lazy circles, tracing shapes along Bo's back. "It's fine," she murmurs, as if soothing a child.

Bo shakes her head against Lauren's shoulder. It makes her forehead throb. She's going to have a bruise there, later. "No, I -"

"It's okay," Lauren says, firmness creeping back into her voice. "I've got lots of shirts."

Bo still sits back, moving away. "I insist," she says, voice watery. Lauren's hand is still resting on her shoulder, and she plucks at Lauren's sleeve. "I like this one."

Lauren ducks away, not very quickly, beaming and trying to hide it. Bo's always liked Lauren's smile the most when it's like that, a little bit shy.

"Okay," Lauren says. She kicks off her shoes and moves further onto the bed, crawling on her hands and knees until she's at the edge of the bed closest to the wall. Bo does her best to ignore the curve of Lauren's back, and everything below it.

Lauren sits, back to the wall, facing Bo. It's only when she hikes her knees up, spreading them wide, that Bo understands what she's doing. She doesn't deserve this, either, but she wants it too badly to refuse. "Come here," Lauren says, patiently.

Bo sighs, like she's doing Lauren a favour, and Lauren smiles. Bo doesn't know when she got lucky enough to have someone like Lauren in her life. She arranges herself in the space between Lauren's knees, leaning back against Lauren's front.

With Lauren this close, Bo is hyperaware of her body, and each part that's touching Lauren. She notices the soft press of breasts against her back, and Lauren's arms wrapped around her waist, fingers laced together above Bo's navel. She notices Lauren's forearm, strong and reassuring under Bo's palms. It's distracting, in a helpful way, and before long Bo has lost track of how long they stay like that, Bo cradled against Lauren's front. She doesn't think about Kyle, or the fight, or anything but Lauren's warm breath tickling her nape.

At Dyson's quiet knock on the door, Bo starts, sure it can't have been thirty-five minutes already. Yet he's there, boots too-loud on the floor as he crosses the threshold. Bo doesn't miss the way his jaw clenches as he takes in the sight of them, holding each other on the same bed he used to share with Bo. But to Bo's utter shock, he smiles, and his voice is gentle as he says, "Time to go."

"Of course," Lauren says. "Just a minute."

Dyson looks over Bo's shoulder, at Lauren, with an expression that Bo can't quite read. Then he nods, and leaves, giving them a last minute alone.

"You have to get up first," Lauren murmurs, stroking Bo's ponytail.

Bo nods, bending her neck forward and feeling the tug of Lauren's fingers in her hair. She feels better, despite not wanting to, despite the part of her that's almost certain she shouldn't get to feel better about her past, ever. Lauren didn't have to help her with that, but that she did.

Instead of getting up, she turns in Lauren's arms, shifting so that both of her knees bump against one of Lauren's. She has this plan - she's going to say thank you, because she can't think of a better thing to say to explain how grateful she is, for everything Lauren's done tonight. She wants to address Lauren's face, instead of Dyson's bed. But as Bo turns and looks at Lauren, she remembers how beautiful she is, this close up. She suddenly realizes that they're eye to eye, sharing the same air, and that Lauren's gaze keeps dropping down to her mouth. Bo can't help herself.

She presses her mouth to Lauren's, chastely, and it's a good thing that they've only got a minute - just the taste of Lauren's lips is enough to make the human and the Fae parts of her ravenous. Her split lip hurts, and starts to hurt worse when Lauren pulls her close, hands gripping tight at Bo's shoulders. It's worth the pain.

They've only got a minute. Bo pulls away.

"God," Lauren sighs, breath harsh and warm against Bo's lips.

Bo chuckles, a little, but her laugh is cut short by the way her smile tugs at the cut on her cheek, painfully. Her nose is still throbbing, so she rests her forehead against Lauren's instead, their noses almost touching. "I have to go," Lauren whispers, voice cracking just a little.

Bo licks her lips, still tempted and hungry. "I know," she says. It takes her a few seconds before she can bring herself to sit up, and let Lauren leave.

On her way out, hand on the doorknob, Lauren stops. "Bo?" she says. Her voice is still shaky, even after the time it took to gather her things. "If you really are going to leave, promise me you'll say goodbye first."

Her expression is serious, as she watches Bo intently. She looks lovely, in the half-light of Dyson's apartment, with her hair just a little mussed and her lips parted. Suddenly Bo is absolutely certain that she never wants to run again. She smiles. It hurts her nose, and she feels the cuts at her cheek and mouth pulling oddly, but she doesn't mind.

"I promise," Bo says. She means it.
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